Obama-Rama

Obama-Rama
By: Andrew Dudich

So whether you’re cursing the thought of Obama Bin Laden or singing “Obama in the Highest,” America has a new President set to enter the White House on January 20th.  Mixed emotions have saturated the air after the news of Barack Obama’s victory on Election Day as America now expectantly waits for the dawning of either a new era or error-uh, a George Bush word meaning the results could have been different if there was a recount.

Now that Barack Obama has won the election, certain facts have come to light regarding our new President.  Obama’s alleged quotation, “America—can we fix it?  Yes we can!” revealed his alter-ego of Bob the Builder this past week in Washington.  Psychoanalyists believe that Obama, presenting himself as a childhood television character, has branded his image as a comforting figure into the youth, a possible explanation of why he has won over the younger generations.  However, the devastating turn in the economy has negatively impacted children’s programming and recent sources report sightings of Obama in Chicago, panhandling on the street, crying out, “Change… change?”

In lieu of government wire-tapping, sources show that Obama supporters have created the Secret National Elite Eavesdroppers Kommittee (SNEEK) as America’s newest defense against terrorist plotting at home.  This guild has chapters throughout the United States, especially in Alaska, where informants insist you can see Russia.  SNEEK has adopted the technology of Star Trek by implementing Obama campaign pins, worn above the heart, as telecommunication devices which are used to relay the movements of America’s top terrorist suspects, Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan.

In spite of his numerous promises to the American people to bring home troops and improve the economy of our beloved nation, one event has more citizens consumed with anxious anticipation than any other—Obama Drama: The Musical.  This breath-taking, awe-inspiring, stupendously spectacular show will keep you on the edge of your seat as you embark on a journey through a young man’s life.  Fawn over an angel’s face as young Barack is born in Hawaii.  Feel pride as a young man graduates from Harvard, and gasp as a congregation listens to Reverend Wright’s frightful sermons.  You’ll be singing in the aisles with memorable lyrics such as, “Who Put the Bomp in the Bomp-O-Bomp-Obama?  Who put the Rom in the Rom-Obama-Ding-Dong?”

Yes, the United States has entered into a new age with the election of our first black/white (grey?) President.  For better or worse, until 4 years do we part, America has vowed to follow our new leader, President Barack Obama.